Save The Marriage, Even If Only You Want To
From: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Let Me Tell You About Kelly and Greg…
When I first met Kelly, she and her husband, Greg, were literally driving to the attorney’s office to sign their divorce papers when they decided to stop at my office!
They were ready to end their marriage of 14 years.
For some time. . . years actually. . . neither had been happy. There had been attempts to change, but things always fell apart.
It had been years since either Kelly or Greg felt good about their relationship.
In fact, for some time, they had stayed together just for the kids.
Does this sound familiar to you?
There was much sleeping on the couch and in the spare bedroom.
They were constantly battling over the smallest issue — which only led to bigger issues.
Threats and yelling were an almost everyday thing.
They both desperately wanted to be accepted and loved, but neither felt it. The more each tried, it seemed the further they moved apart.
They had tried therapy, self-help books, seminars. But nothing seemed to make a difference.
It seemed as if they were stuck in a vicious cycle. They knew they needed to change things in their relationship…but they just didn’t know how.
I’m not going to try and convince you that I was able to undo years of fighting, struggling and disappointment in a day. But, with what they learned in my office that day, they decided to put their impending divorce “on hold.”
Within a few weeks, there was a dramatic transformation in their marriage…
- There were no angry arguments that went nowhere.
- There was no “living like roommates” or sleeping on the couch.
- There was no more name-calling or tearing-down of each other.
- Their, previously sexless, marriage saw sparks of true pleasure and intimacy again
Last week, Kelly called to invite me to their anniversary and “re-commitment” ceremony!
Most marriage therapists are not trained to be marriage counselors.
They receive their training in traditional, individual therapy, and add marital counseling to their practice… after the fact.
In other words, most marriage therapists have little expertise in helping a troubled marriage.
And, when they do offer marital counseling, they are, usually, applying outdated, ineffective strategies that were never intended to help truly troubled marriages.
This is why the best marriage counselors see a success rate of only 20%. . . if a medical procedure was that risky. . .
it would be outlawed!
I know from experience, because I too was frustrated with such a low rate of success. I sincerely desired to help my clients to save their marriages. But, the techniques and strategies I learned in school seemed to be making things worse!
Once I realized that “traditional” methods of marriage therapy don’t work, I determined to find and create strategies, techniques and methods that do work.
It led me to abandon much of the “old school” ideas about how to help troubled couples…and so should you!
Please watch this video on why “Marital Therapy” can be destructive to your situation!
Before you can begin your journey toward saving your marriage, you need to stop buying into The Four Most Damaging Myths About Saving Your Marriage.
Do you believe any of the following?
The 4 Most Damaging Myths About Saving Your Marriage…
Myth 1: You Need To Learn More Communication Skills
Learning new communication skills will not help you.
Teaching you how to communicate better, if your marriage is truly troubled, will only give you and your spouse the ability to fight more effectively!
In many cases, improving “communication skills” only creates more damage and accelerates the deterioration of the relationship.
Myth 2:There is only one “path” from the brink of divorce to marital bliss.
Many other programs assume there is only one “path” back to marital happiness.
I discovered there are 8 distinct paths! And, each “path” must be addressed differently.
What is helpful at one stage can be destructive, or at least counterproductive, at another stage.
I have created a unique path for each stage that resolves the crisis best.
These paths have been tested and retested, and proven successful for hundreds in my practice.
You will learn how to determine exactly which stage of marriage crisis you are facing. After you do this, you are infinitely better prepared to move forward and begin the healing and progress.
Myth 3: You can’t start saving your marriage if your spouse isn’t interested.
When a marriage crisis is in full swing, it sometimes takes awhile for the other spouse to respond. But, this does not mean that you can’t save your marriage!
My techniques and approach work. . . even if your spouse has already “given up. “
My strategies have been called “relationship Judo.”
You will learn how to use the negative energy in your relationship to turn your relationship around.
Myth 4: Time heals all.
This may be the most damaging myth of all!
In my experience, many people procrastinate and hope that things will get “just work themselves out.”
This rarely, if ever, happens. You already know that! That is the reason you are at this site. You are ready to take action!
If you do not take action, the negative momentum of the relationship moves against you and before you know it, the relationship is too far gone.
It is critical that you start the process of saving your marriage now. . . before things spiral into a place that is truly irreparable.
Anyone Is Capable of
Transforming Their Relationship
Impossible as it may seem, I have created techniques which transform relationships… even when only one person is trying!
My typical client is a spouse that wants to save their relationship when their partner has already “given up.”
Most therapists work from the assumption that, if only one person wanted to work on the relationship, it was impossible to fix.
I don’t approach marriage crises this way. I approach them like an algebra equation. If one side of the equation is changed, the other side must change!
Incredibly, my clients have achieved an 89.7% success rate. . . even if only one spouse starts the process! (Findings based on surveys. Individual results can vary.)
With Kelly and Greg, it was Kelly who started the process. She found me on the internet , downloaded Save the Marriage and began the process of saving the marriage. . . by herself.
Greg was still bent on a divorce, but Kelly still had hope. . . and took action.
Fairly quickly, Greg was less insistent on the divorce, but still assumed it was their only option.
Eventually, He agreed to spend that hour with me, in person. . . leaving their divorce attorneys waiting.
You may be wondering. . .“When Is Saving The Marriage Impossible?”
I have witnessed relationships come back to life after affairs, bankruptcies, dishonesty, deception and mid-life crises,and just about any other roadblock.
Couple after couple have proven that it is possible to change a relationship and rescue, just about, any marriage from the edge of destruction.
These couples have not just avoided divorce. They have transformed the marriages into something wonderful. . . something better than they had dreamed possible.
Anatomy Of A Marital Crisis
No marriage crisis appears overnight.
Rather, the crisis builds slowly over time. One person is, usually, caught completely off-guard. . . not realizing there even was a problem. The other claims that he or she is tired of trying and trying. . . with no change. . . and has “given up.”
You see, the real damage is done when one person needs and expects something to change, but the other person is preserving the exact same things. For example, there is often a desire for a shift in the power structure of the relationship, but one person resists making any change. The other person who wants the change becomes more and more frustrated.
This leads to a pattern where one spouse suddenly announces that the marriage is over, and the other spouse is unaware that there even was a problem.
If I had a dime for every time I was told, “I thought everything was fine, until my spouse asked for a divorce”. . .
Unfortunately, the “not knowing” has been translated into “not caring” by the dissatisfied partner and seems to provide proof (for someone looking for proof) that the marriage is over.
More marriages die from neglect than anything else. Often, it is simply a matter of life getting in the way. Strangely, something as important as marriage gets ignored. More than that, the relationship shifts from suffering with neglect to a growing animosity and antipathy.
On our wedding day, no one expects their marriage to fail.
And when people rate their priorities, their marital relationship always ranks in the top 3 or 4.
But, according to research, couples spend on average less than 4 minutes per day talking about issues that do not include schedules and the kids.
As neglect sets in, this lack of attention eats away at the relationship, slowly eroding the capacity of the couple to form a substantial relationship.
At this point, it is inevitable that issues will arise that create marital crisis. . .
The issue may be another person, a job change, a shift in life circumstances or stage. When it comes, one or the other feels the hopelessness of the situation, and moves to resolve the crisis by getting out of the marriage.
The Stages Of A Crisis
When the crisis is in full swing, it sometimes takes awhile for the other spouse to respond.
But, I discovered you can use actually this fact to create a path back to wholeness.
Too many other programs treat the way back to happiness as only one path.
I believe there are 8 distinct paths and each must be dealt with completely differently. What is helpful at one stage can be destructive, or at least counterproductive, at another stage.
I have created a unique and different path for each stage.
These paths have been tested and retested, and proven very successful for my clients. This is not “pie-in-the-sky” theory. It is tried, tested, and re-tested.
It is critical you know which stage you are in before you begin making changes.
It is entirely possible to do the right thing at the wrong time and cause more problems.
You need to know EXACTLY which stage of crisis you are facing. Only then, can you begin the healing process. Otherwise, it is probable you will inflict further damage on your relationship.
The innocent beginnings of a crisis (neglect, lack of understanding, etc.) can quickly spin into a crisis that puts the entire marriage at risk. . .
At this point, the trajectory of the relationship can become unpredictable.
A marriage can fall apart in a million ways.
But, the path back is predictable.
A marriage only recovers in one, predictable way. . . there is only one path back. The specific steps on that path may vary (depending on the stage) but the “way back” is the same.
Imagine a map on a trip. You may start from different places, different distances, but you are still going to take the roads that lead to the Interstate that leads to your destination. You only need to know the path from where you are.
This is the emphasis of my work. . . the path back.
I have isolated the path back from the verge of destruction. . . all of the way to full recovery of a marriage.
You can’t just take the relationship back to “where it used to be.” This is not enough.
Couples cannot simply get back to where they were when the marriage got in trouble. The marriage always had the beginnings of a crisis.
Instead, it needs to get to a place where the marriage is insulated against any future crisis.
Achieving an “average” marriage isn’t enough. . . you want and need an exceptional marriage!
It’s not just about avoiding divorce. . . it’s about creating the marriage relationship of your secret dreams. . .
It’s not enough to avoid divorce.
Who wants to be in a “mediocre” marriage relationship?
Most couples believe that their marital problems mean that they are destined to , at best, have an “okay” marriage.
This could not be further from the truth. You don’t have to settle for anything less than the marriage relationship of your dreams!
In my experience, your current marriage crisis can be the catalyst for “a new beginning” that will make your marriage stronger and better than it has ever been.
In fact, this is my true goal.
I won’t feel satisfied unless as many couples as possible are experiencing everything that they always expected from marriage.
Recovery to average is not good enough.
I have helped hundreds of couples to rescue and transform their marriages and, I want to help thousands more to create exceptional marriages!
This is why I recently sat down and wrote a new Marriage Saving System. . .
“Save The Marriage”
As I said earlier in this letter, I was shocked to see that there were so many (virtually) useless “save your marriage” guides offered online.
Unlike system, most of these “guides” are written by ghost writers that are hiding behind a pretty picture. I am a “real, live” person that you can actually contact (see the bottom of this page).
And, the guides written by actual professionals are, for the most part, based on tired, old and ineffective “traditional” theories of counseling that only achieve 20% effectiveness. . . . when used in person, in a therapist’s office!
I felt as if I had to make available the unique, different and (most importantly) effective secrets that I had discovered in my practice.
My goal is to save as many marriages as possible.
Chances are, you will probably not have the opportunity to visit me, in person.
But, I can still provide you with the information and the assistance you need to really start saving your marriage. . . through Save The Marriage.
Together, through the Save The Marriage System, we can save your marriage!
Save The Marriage will give you an understanding of what happened to your marriage, how to save it, and how to start creating the marriage of your dreams.
You will benefit from my, nearly, twenty years of working with clients, in person, and literally, thousands of couples in various settings.
Don’t expect hundreds of pages that just reiterate what everyone else has already said.
Instead, I have made the ideas and information readable and easily understood. No “psycho -babble” here, just the facts, ideas, and actions you need to save your marriage. I will tell you what went wrong, what to do to change it, and how to do it.
Starting tonight. . . in fact, in the next 10 minutes, you can start saving your marriage and moving toward the marriage relationship you always dreamed about.
Can you imagine how wonderful it feel to, finally, eliminate the fear, anxiety and stress that currently envelopes you. . . and replace it with feelings of love, joy and contentment?
You don’t have to imagine it. . . because, with the secrets and strategies you will find with the Save The Marriage System, you will be solidly on the path from marital frustration to marital bliss!
Don’t take my word for it…
A small sample of what others have said about this system…
What Others Are Saying:
(Just a few of the hundreds of notes
provided to us, all telling us the same
thing, that while individual results vary,
This Material Works!)
“A terrific resource…”
“I have been reading the first few sections and am very relieved to find such a terrific resource…
…It really fits with the direction I’ve been taking, personally and with clients.”
-Sally F., Therapist
“A dramatic turn around!”
“What a dramatic turn around! Our relationship is 180 degrees reversed and moving in the RIGHT direction! Thank you so much!”
“Radically different…I finally have hope..”
“My marriage has been in trouble for years. I’ve read other books. . . your ideas are radically different from the others. I’ve never read anything like it.
Now, things are improving. I finally have hope!”
“I am amazed…a whole new outlook…”
“I sat and read your modules last night. I read from about 7pm to 12am. I am amazed! After reading, I have a whole new outlook on our marriage. After reading, I am prepared to make the necessary changes and shifts in order to have the marriage I’ve always wanted.”
-Mary Beth M.
“Wow…convinced in the very first chapter…”
“I recently purchased your package, Save The Marriage, and spent the last week reading it. I don’t know how to express how I feel about it other than to just say, “Wow!”……I was convinced within the very first section as I could see the truth of it in my own life and relationship…”
“My relationship is much better…”
“For the record… let me just say that your guide is the most sensible, real, self help book of any kind that I have ever read…
…These things that you talk about in your book are real, so simple—THEY JUST MAKE SENSE…
My relationship with my husband has gotten so much better !! thank you, thank you thank you”
“He actually left…”
“I’m 41 years old and my husband has recently told me that he wanted out of the marriage and he actually left a few days later, after 21 years of marriage…
…After the initial shock wore off and I was able to think straight…I purchased your system….
…I was able to persuade him to give me and the marriage another chance…
…I had to wing it with only your strategies in my head…
…Many, many thanks for your resources…”
(Actual customer comments. NOTE: Results may vary. There are many variables in each situation. The exact response of your spouse can change the outcome, as well as your willingness to implement the information. Not even the best of information will help unless the information is applied.)
Just Some Of What You’ll Discover…
The Top 5 Mistakes people make when a crisis arises.
The “real” secrets to a healthy, stable, loving marriage.
How to assess the stage of your crisis (there are 8).
How to address any stage of a crisis and turn it around.
What to do, what to say, and what to avoid in order to save your marriage!
Why “hard work” on the relationship isn’t always the answer.
How marriage counseling can be dangerous to your marriage’s future.
Why “low mood therapy” is destined for failure and how “high mood relating” makes the difference.
How to move beyond emotions and take action!
How to find the North Star of your relationship, and why it matters.
Why true intimacy is a lot closer than you think–and how to get there!
What “the TIE Elements of Communication” are, and how they can transform your communication.
How to change the momentum of a relationship, sometimes instantaneously!
What the Practices of Marriage are, and how they can transform your relationship.
Why arguing is a waste of time — and the amazingly simple secret to get around it.
How to become a team, even if you feel like opposites.
Why power is so destructive to relationships and how to change it.
How to deal with problems involving sex or money.
Why anger and resentment are so dangerous, and what to do about it , regardless of whether you or your spouse is angry or resentful
How to make paradigm shifts (literally, quantum leaps!) in the relationship.
Much, much more about how to transform your relationship.
How to begin saving your marriage beginning in less than an hour, maybe in less than 10 minutes!
In short, how to have the marriage of your dreams .
What you have seen in this letter is only a small fraction of what you will find in this book.
This powerful Save The Marriage System has several modules, all working together to help you save your marriage, from beginning to end. Each builds on the other!
Because this system is only offered in an electronic, downloadable format, you can begin your journey of marital happiness and fulfillment immediately. . . even if it’s 2 AM in the morning! Plus, you never have to worry about facing the lady at the register in the book store. Your purchase is in total privacy and your personal copy of this powerful system will be downloaded to your computer in less than 2 minutes!
And, because you don’t have to pay for printing or shipping, I can charge you significantly less than I would for a “hard copy” version of this system.
But you need to ACT NOW!
Let me tell you why you need to act now: The longer you go without taking action, the lower your chances to save your marriage.
You see, marriages in crisis are not static. If they are not improving, they are worsening. Only appropriate action can reverse this. Please, take action now!
You can think about it like a commercial:
Cost of an hour of therapy: $60 to $150 (multiply that times 100, the number of sessions in 2 years of therapy ($6,000 to $15,000 total).
Cost of an average divorce: $30,000 (not to mention the ongoing losses and emotional toil).
Cost of a great marriage: PRICELESS!
Let me tell you what is included in the Save The Marriage System:
Making the wrong decision during this stage could make things worse…much worse!
These four modules create the powerful Save The Marriage System. It is a complete path to recovering and saving your marriage, regardless of the situation now.
You can only get the modules as a unit, since each builds on the other, creating a synergy that will overcome difficulties you may be having.
The system is designed to change your understanding of marriage , and especially your understanding of the problems. Here’s why: if you just keep thinking about things the way you have, you will only stay where you have been — stuck and going down! Albert Einstein said “We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.”
Let me help you change your thinking and save your marriage!
And, For A VERY LIMITED Time, I Am Including These Bonuses:
Well, that’s the deal! You get the Save The Marriage System, the bonus audios, a bonus set of rules for fair fighting, and a complete bonus ebook! If I haven’t managed to convince you by now, it is time for me to give up! If this is not right for you, then please, move on. But, if you are really ready to take action, I can give you the tools you need! Please, take action and Save Your Marriage!
Your total (no hidden charges) investment in the future of your marriage is only $47.00!
“Worth every penny…”
” Firstly, I want to thank you on your great help you provided in your book.
My wife already filed for divorce before I downloaded you book, and i wanted to do anything I could to save what I could. At that stage I stumbled onto your website, and normally I don’t buy e-books over the internet.
We were speaking, but obviously the relationship was very tense. After reading your book I realized what could have gone wrong.
I changed my perspective on my marriage, and after only about 1 week, she has delayed the proceedings, and is seriously reconsidering the divorce completely. She is also starting to commit to this marriage.
If this can happen in my marriage in only 1 week, i can only imagine what it van mean to others. It was worth every penny.
Again, thank you very much for the information you provided. I opened my eyes to what marriage is about, and where the possible pitfalls could be. And how to “fix” it if it happens.”
Here’s my offer:
Try the secrets in the Save The Marriage System.
Then, at your leisure , utilize its secrets to save and transform your marriage.
If you are not absolutely thrilled with the dramatic improvements in your marriage, just let me know and I’ll promptly and courteously refund 100% of your money – with no questions asked. . . for an entire 60 days!
Your only requirement is to use the material for a full 30 days, just to see the power of the simple secrets. That’s it! Give it your best shot, then I will offer you a. . .
100% Unconditional 60-Day
Money Back Guarantee
If, for any reason (or no reason at all), you decide this book hasn’t transformed your marriage. . . I will refund every penny you paid. Furthermore, I’ll even let you keep the system (and the bonuses) for your trouble!
So, as you can see, you will be making your marriage everything you ever desired. . . at my risk. . . not yours!
This system has been described as one of the most radical and important sources of relationship saving strategies and techniques ever written.
Whether you are simply frustrated and disappointed. . . or on the verge of divorce. . . this proven information will help you to turn things around. . . quickly and easily.
How To Get The Save The
Marriage System. . . Right Now!
Your order is completely private and discreet.
We NEVER share or sell our customer’s information with ANYONE…EVER!
Your order is processed through our secure shopping cart and server systems and your financial information is passed along in an encrypted and totally secure manner.
How To Save Your Marriage. . . Starting NOW. . .
Order Online By Safe, Secure Server
You will receive instant access to the book and bonuses (Even if it’s 2:00 AM)
Getting your hands on the complete system is simple and direct:
After clicking the purchase link, you will be taken to a SSL (Secured-Socket Layer) Protected page that requires a small amount of information. This page is hosted by Clickbank, the safest payment processing company on the internet. (In fact, we will never even see your payment information.)
Clickbank can accept all major credit cards or can access a Paypal account. After the purchase is confirmed, you will be automatically sent to a special page I set up to allow you to download your Save The Marriage System, information and recordings for IMMEDIATE ACCESS.
That’s right. You can start the process, and in less than 10 minutes, you will be reading the information you need to start saving your marriage, regardless of what time it is, day or night, and regardless of where in the world you are located. Think about it: in less than an hour you can have your strategy in place on how to save your marriage.
Don’t wait another second. It is time to begin to save your marriage. My powerful information will give you the exclusive information you need to begin saving your marriage THIS SECOND!
The time for action is now. . .
but only YOU can take it!
I have created the resources you need to save your marriage. I have made it so that you can access the information anywhere in the world, any time of the day or night. I have guaranteed that it will work. But the final action is yours. Only you can decide if your marriage is worth the small amount of effort necessary to turn it around.
Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Relationship Coach and Marriage Expert
P.S. You may have skipped right to this point. If so, here’s the offer in a nutshell. You get your own personal copy of Save The Marriage System that is 100% guaranteed to help save your marriage. . . starting within the next few minutes.
Plus… If you order now, you will also receive the Quick-Start Guide To Saving Your Marriage module.
Plus…I will also give you the Top Five Things NOT To Do When Your Partner Wants Out! module.
Plus…You will receive my powerful module, Dealing With Anger And Resentment.
Plus…By ordering now, you will get my newest module, Down-N-Dirty Guide.
Plus…You get the bonus audios, Deaing with a MidLife Marriage Crisis and Recovering From An Affair.
Plus…I will give you 5 Rules For Fair Fighting to help you get through conflicts.
Plus…For a short time, you get the ebook, Change of Heart at no extra charge!
And. . . if you order during this limited-time offer, you receive all of the above for only
$47.00! (Please take the time to ACT NOW, before it is too late!)
Save The Marriage
4949 Brownsboro Road, Suite 147
Louisville, Kentucky 40222
Webmaster @ SaveTheMarriage.com
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